Monday, April 9, 2012

Vivid Pictures of You Haunt my MIND 11/16/11

Its the familiar enchanted chase
that I race
like a
bounding deer
white tail
flashing danger as it goes.
These instincts are not my own.
Yet recognizable?
A distant howl
pushes beyond
what a mind can
understand.

The darkness closes around me
bringing the sounds
I've never heard
but echoing
memories
that remain
purposefully forgotten.

Loud whispers
ring clearly in my ears.
Why does my heart race again?
competing
with this mind
that never rests.

Pounding heart, beating into the ground
I encounter
the familiar blistering pain
strange it is
that I enjoy
it being more than skin deep.

I embrace the expected chill
that goes beyond my breath
to the depths of my bones.
When will it stop and
why must it exist?

Yet..
just now that
fleeting thought
wishing
it would never end.

What is this driving force that
that makes it feel so right?
creating insanity
within this
broken utopia
of solitude.

What am I enduring and creating
in this time,
wasted?
how long will it last?
Let it never end.

Animalistic, peace it is I suppose.
At what cost?
To whom do I toil 
for these meaningless
tests I face?
This race is beyond my control.

Alone in the woods
frantic glances from behind
hunted
by what?
And reminisce of
something
unexplained.

This gasping brings no exchange of air.
The never ending distance can not shorten the race
or fill its unintended space.
Why must it still be incomplete
despite the completeness it brings?

Lack of water
how then can I be drowning
deeper and deeper
I feel myself sink
with some foreign weight upon my back
my neck
Body broken
bent in half
I begin to cower
a predator
is closing in
This must be Fear?

An enchanting chase
Abandoned
I embrace
running from
what
to where
and from whom
I do not know.

So I leave it all
to create a brokenness
that was never intended
from the only
thing I am
assured of
that eventually
there will be an end.

Mandy Rizk

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